With all the news surrounding a U.S. patent office cancellation of the Washington Redskins’ trademarks, effectively forcing the team to change its name, I got to wondering, “Where does it end?”
All across the nation, Americans are cheering for sports teams that have mascots that would be deemed offensive by the Obama administration's terms. If they can get away with bullying the Redskins just because its name offends a few people, then what's stopping them from pursuing the others?
Here are 20 sports teams whose names are as laughably “offensive” as the Redskins, and what we think the PC Police on the left would say about them:
1. Minnesota Vikings: “I bet there are some Scandinavian football fans out there who don't appreciate being identified with men who raped, pillaged, and rarely bathed.”
2. Cleveland Indians: “The logo portraying a ”red“ face is obviously racist.”
3. Duke Blue Devils: “Surely there is a group of satanic leaders out there somewhere who are wildly offended by the color blue.”
4. Tennessee Titans: “Greece conquered the known world a few thousand years ago, so don't force their mythology down my throat through sports entertainment.”
5. Toronto Raptors: “Fine, marginalize all the people who got scared by the Jurassic Park movies.”
6. BYU Cougars: “Last time I checked, Provo Utah isn't famous for middle aged women prowling on young men.”
7. San Francisco Giants: “Clearly, this an insult to vertically challenged people. How about San Francisco One Size Fits All?”
8. U.S. Military Academy Black Knights: “Couldn't it just be the U.S. Military Academy People Who Lived In The Middle Ages? That way we include the peasants and other classes too.”
9. Minnesota Twins: “Why not the Minnesota Multiple Births? So we don't leave out the triplets, quadruplets, and all the other -ets.”
10. Notre Dame, Fighting Irish: “Oh, so all Irish people are known for is starting bar fights before every game? Discrimination!”
11. Chicago Blackhawks: “Compare this one to the Washington Redskins logo on the right. Do you see any similarities?”
12. Miami Hurricanes: “The Miami Light Breezes would be a more sensitive name choice for people affected by real hurricanes.”
13. Richmond Spiders: “You just want people with arachnophobia to have a hard time sleeping at night, don't you?”
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: “These were just misunderstood pirates who raided ships in the Caribbean because they weren't coddled enough as children. We don't want to hurt their feelings even more!”
15. Orlando Magic: “I can almost guarantee there is a group of people practicing witchcraft out there who are so upset the NBA is using a term for a basketball team that has nothing to do with magic.”
16. San Diego Padres: “Could you get any more religious with your covert Spanish words for a Catholic priest? I demand separation of church and Major League Baseball!”
17. Seattle Seahawks: “I guess you've never woken up in the morning to go outside, and find that sea birds gave your car a new paint job.”
18. Boston Celtics: “Obviously, this name is an attack on Irish heritage and is only meant to make a profit from assuming all Irish people are associated with leprechauns and shamrocks.”
19. New England Patriots: “There is nothing patriotic about the founding fathers and colonists conspiring against the British crown. Don't they understand that government knows best?”
20. Los Angeles Angels: “Again with the religion. If you just want a mascot with wings, pick a bird like everybody else!”
On a more serious note, forcing any of these sports teams to change their name because you’re offended is childish and irrational - not to mention likely illegal.
It would be a whole different story if: Vikings were alive today still pillaging towns, the U.S. government and Native Americans were still at war, and the San Diego Padres were somehow part of the Spanish Inquisition. But the thing is - they aren't.
Instead, we should be recognizing the idea that names like Redskins and Patriots are ways to honor the legacy of our ancestors, not defile them.