Thanks to our friends at Washington Free Beacon, you'll never have to watch a Barack Obama speech again. Reason being, this 76-second video shows you everything he's going to say. He will:

  • Tell you it’s great to be back in whatever town he's in.
  • Tell you to have a seat - twice.
  • Appreciate the introduction.
  • Love you back.
  • Recommend building more roads and bridges.
  • Say the economy grows from the middle out.
  • Say the wealthy have to “pay their fair share.”
  • Blame Republicans in Congress for everything.
  • Encourage you to vote rather than boo.

You're welcome.