The Environmental Protection Agency is getting tired of the boring dregs of 'protecting endangered darter snails' and is finally spreading its wings.

The “new-look” EPA is complete with a heavily armed SWAT team that conducts commando-style raids on Alaskan spas and even has a DHS task force that seizes unauthorized land rovers for violating emissions standards. Umm, awesome?

The poor schlub who decided to commit an egregious crime against the eco-system may be out $65,000, but that's a small price to pay for environmental justice.

So, it looks like the people who brought us plastic bag recycling and ethanol kickbacks are getting into the repo business. Not bad work in this down economy, if you can get it. It's not like this “green police” is made up of machine-gun wielding left-wing extremists, right?

On second thought, I think I will turn in my Hummer for a zero-emissions Segway. Don't midnight knock me, bros.