Below are some of the more questionable, comical or just plain dumb laws that exist in each of the fifty states.
You can’t wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
Don’t even think about it, kid.
If you see a sleeping bear, it’s illegal to wake it up for a photo op.
Also known as “suicide.”
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
This man has no respect for the law.
You’re not allowed to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly.
Not to be confused with “KANzis”.
It’s unlawful to allow a dog to pursue a bear or a bobcat at any time.
But in Homeward Bound, the dogs just run away from them.
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
Which means everyone is a criminal outside of Colorado.
A pickle is not a pickle until it bounces.
Yes. We made a GIF for this.
You are forbidden to sell the hair of a dog.
The real reason the Newton family had so many St. Bernards.
They accidentally banned every computer in the state by poorly wording a law which outlawed Internet Cafés.
If you’re in Florida reading this, please turn yourself into the local police.
You can’t keep an ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sundays.
Forrest totally has an ice cream cone here.
You cannot use imitation milk in a milkshake without warning the drinker.
But Spam can go in anything, anywhere, all the time.
Giving your sweetheart a box of chocolates weighing more that 50 pounds is illegal.
But unlimited McDonald’s is totally cool.
You can drink under 21, if you’re enrolled in a culinary program.
“I got my culinary license so I could test out the rich flavors of Franzia and Yellowtail…”
The value of Pi is 3.
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Maybe Hoosiers should stick to basketball.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Same goes for people (or, um, space critters) without noses.
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
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You CAN pass, just wait a moment.
A person can’t dye ducklings, baby chicks, or bunnies.
Let’s just call this, “The drunk uncle at Easter law”
It’s a $500 fine for sending a pizza man to a friend’s house without them knowing.
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Pizza is not a joke.
It is illegal for Christmas decorations to still be up after January 14th.
Honestly, this should be a national law.
A vending machine may NOT dispense a non-latex condom.
It’s how you use it.
You cannot own an explosive golf ball.
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But they only explode if you hit them.
A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
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DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?
Using goldfish as bait is against the law.
Body parts are still up for debate.
High school teachers may not have sex with their students.
It is illegal, but mostly: gross.
One cannot drive with an uncaged bear.
One is also insane if they’re driving with a bear, caged or uncaged.
Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party… and you can shoot them.
This law has another word – “racism.”
Whale fishing is illegal.
Shark fishing is totally cool, though.
A man can’t buy drinks for more than three people at a time.
Putting roofies in them is frowned upon, also.
It’s illegal to show a movie before 2 pm.
Seeing Frozen alone at 1 p.m. is no longer an option.
If you’ve been arrested for drunk driving, you lose the privilege of personalized plates.
And that kids, is how bumpers stickers were invented.
Idiots may not vote. Nor can insane people.
VERY curious as to how they determined the idiots.
You can’t sell the fur of a cat.
But cat milk remains on the market.
Beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time.
No worries. Just don’t get rid of pretzel day.
Bingo games can’t last more than five hours.
Pack up. We’re headed to Florida.
It’s illegal to get a fish drunk.
Goldfish shots are even less tempting now.
Wrestling a bear is unlawful.
Wrestling Hulk Hogan is lawful, but not encouraged.
Hunting in cemeteries is prohibited.
WHO IS HUNTING IN CEMETERIES?
It’s a crime to tell a fortune teller where to dig for buried treasure.
But definitely remember to carry the fortune teller up the mountain.
Any marriage in which either party is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
Idiots: stay away from Rhode Island and New Mexico in general.
You have to be at least 18 to play a pinball machine.
Single, 30-year-old men take up the entire demographic in S.C.
You can’t sleep in a cheese factory.
What kind of world is this?
You can’t share your Netflix password.
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Stop hogging your friend’s account.
It’s illegal to point a laser beam at a plane.
We want to meet the person who forced them to make this law…
It’s illegal to cause a catastrophe.
Looking at you, Mother Earth.
You’re not allowed to intentionally kill a bird with a plane.
Also, wear aviators. As much as possible.
It is illegal to tickle women.
Sorry, no tickle fights with the lady friend.
All lollipops are banned.
And fun. Don’t have any fun.
Roadkill may be taken home for dinner.
This actually lowered the cost of road maintenance in West Virgina, no joke.
You can’t serve butter substitutes in prison.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and rock hammers are the most sought after item in prison.
It’s illegal to remove more than half a sheep’s ear.
BA RAMMMM YOUUU
Note: Most of these laws are either ignored by their respective states, or common sense. While all of them should be regarded as ridiculous, they are all still technically on the books.