Heart attacks for everyone! Merry Christmas!
Reports have confirmed that Donald Trump will tap Andy Puzder, current CEO of Hardees and Carl’s Jr. for the new Labor Secretary position.
Beloved American companies Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s have been clogging American hearts for generations. The former lawyer will be heading up the Department of Labor once Trump is in office. Bad news for burger lovers, where under the direction of Puzder, Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s flourished, but great news for anti-minimum wage advocates.
Puzder’s legacy is only best told through his most controversial creations.
The Monster Bacon Thickburger
The Monster Bacon Thickburger has one of the highest calories counts on the Carl’s Jr./ Hardee’s menu, 1400 to be exact.
The Texas BBQ Thickburger
Paris Hilton isn’t on the menu, but the burger she’s fake gorging on is. The Texas BBQ Burger lives up to the Texas motto of “it’s always bigger in Texas.”
All-Natural Budweiser Bacon Burger
710 calories and 38 grams of All-American fat. Need we say more?
Most American Thickburger
You don’t have to choose if you want it hamburger style or hot dog style any longer. You can have both! With 1,030 calories and 64 grams of fat, part hot dog, part one-third pound ground beef patty, all on top of a handful of Frito Lay’s potato chips, this menu item doesn’t stand a chance of passing the First Lady’s National School Lunch program standards.
Bacon Velveeta Burger
Sure, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but this American beauty is no breakfast of champions. The breakfast of food eating contest champions — maybe.
We know Obama isn’t a fan of Trump and neither is the First Lady, but perhaps this new addition to the Labor Secretary department might change his mind.
Ha! Just kidding!