A spa tucked away in a small New Hampshire town sounds like the scene for the kind of quaint weekend jaunt that might be the premise for an episode of “Gilmore Girls.”

Alas, I stopped watching that show after the sixth season, so I don’t if there was an episode with a wacky mixup where Lorelei and Rory book themselves into a spa where adults have to wear diapers 24/7 and sleep in cribs — not because they need those things, but because they want them — but, in Atkinson, New Hampshire, one can avail themselves of those services thanks to the first self-described “physician-owned Diaper Spa in the world,” according to WHDH-TV.

To be fair, it’d be kind of hard for even the densest of sitcom characters to end up at the diaper spa through a mixup, because it literally calls itself “The Diaper Spa.” It caters to the ABDL — or “adult Baby/diaper lover” — community and costs $200 an hour for “virtual playdates” or $1,500 for a “Diaper B&B” experience where you can stay all day to nurture “the little one inside of you,” according to Boston.com.

But, rest assured, local Atkinsonians: Not a bit of this has to do with strange fetishes or misfiring human sexuality. So don’t worry, even if it’s reportedly close to a public park where children might be playing.

“The most common misconception I hear about ABDL is that the community is composed of pedophiles, perverts, and sex offenders,” said Dr. Colleen Ann Murphy, who established the Diaper Spa.

“This is blatantly not true,” she said. Instead, being in diapers “helps them process whatever trauma it was.”

“A lot of times it’s childhood trauma when they were in diapers or just getting out of diapers and they want to feel that safety that they had before that.”

Advertisement

Murphy — who Boston.com describes as “ board-certified integrative medicine physician and sexologist” — was apparently stressed and burnt out from her work in hospitals. I know how she feels — seeing harried integrative medicine physicians and/or sexologists running down the hallways of the ER with crash carts all the time when I’m in the hospital, vainly trying to revive critically injured patients.

Anyway, burnout led her to look at “sex and relationship coaching with an emphasis on overlooked populations — including ABDL, or adult Baby/diaper lovers,” the outlet reported.

“This led me to find a community of people who had varied needs to wear diapers, whether they were physical or emotional, such as vets wounded in combat with incontinence, people with progressive and congenital musculoskeletal conditions, and victims of trauma and abuse,” Murphy said.

“The void of care was there, and I sought a meaningful way to fill it.”

Again, nothing to do with perversion or any offshoot of that. The Diaper Spa’s website makes that clear: “The Diaper Spa is here to serve all diaper-wearing individuals who seek acceptance, respite, and care,” it reads. “We embrace 21+ year-old individuals from all races, genders, sexual persuasions, and preferences. We celebrate the genuine you. We are LQBTQIA++ friendly and affirming. We are trauma-informed. Only guests over 21 yo can consent and receive our very elite 1:1 care.”

So you have to be over 21 years old to consent — much older than you have to be to consent to be on puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones, it’s just worth noting — but there’s nothing unseemly, untoward or sexual about over-21s wearing diapers at an expensive spa run by a sexologist. I just want to emphasize that again, because it’s so obvious there’s nothing improper going on here.

To be fair, you can also engage in “ore luxurious services,” including “Hyponoregression, Yoga, Massage, Makeovers, and even piggy paint!”

Advertisement

And yet, somehow, the pitchfork-wielding folk who actually have to live in Atkinson, New Hampshire, just don’t get it!

“You can do what you want in your home, but a business? It’s not right for the community,” resident Susan Mitcheson told WHDH.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of kids that live around here, and what type of people are going to do that?” resident Mike Vigliotta said. “People who are looking at children or being children by wearing diapers and being treated like a Baby. That kind of concerns me. Who knows what that leads .”

A Change.orgPetition started by resident Kayla Gallagher asked town officials to “reject any business and zoning licenses and applications for this business.”

“It has come to our attention that this business is advertised to individuals whose sexual fetish involves childlike behaviors. This business, per their website, has advertised our town playground to their potential clientele. Thus their sexual fetish will involve the town park where our children play,” reads the petition, which has over 500 signatures — not shabby in a town of just over 7,000.

“As residents and patrons of this community, we feel compelled to voice our collective concern and dissatisfaction regarding potential incidents that pose a threat to the safety and well-being of our community members, particularly our children,” it reads. “We strongly ask a firm and continued rejection for this business to operate in our community.”

Alas, that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon — and Dr. Murphy insists that “absolutely no” sexual interaction is allowed and hopes that there can at least be some form of detente in the community.

“I don’t ask them to understand,” she told WHDH. “You know it would be nice if they did but we’re not all going to understand other people’s needs and lifestyle.”

Which has absolutely nothing to do, again, with the perversion of human sexuality or carnal needs, even though it’s being run by a sexologist.

Even if that were the case — and I would posit there is no functional adult who wishes to put on diapers as part of play without severe issues with the pleasure-seeking centers in their brain — these are people who need help, not unconditional (and expensive) affirmation. They’re stuck so far in the past, maturity-wise, that they are lingering in the phase where they lacked potty-training skills and the ability to sleep in a big-kid bed.

We often hear about perpetually juvenile individuals — usually men — who have suffered a “failure to launch” and still live at home or spend their time on video games and partying when they should be taking on adult responsibilities. Yes, but at least they use the toilet — and, while I imagine they don’t think about it much, derive some satisfaction from the fact they don’t need to wear diapers or spend $1,500 for a weekend getaway where they can relieve themselves of bodily waste inside XXXXXL Pampers.

The Diaper Spa is the reductio ad absurdum of Western culture’s wholehearted embrace of immaturity. Yes, I believe there’s obviously a prima facie sexual element to this, no matter what Dr. Murphy claims. However, the flourishing of the ABDL community is the final form of accepting regression in its most extreme form. Yes, it will cost you. Dearly, in fact. But so do all forms of voluntary immaturity, whether you’re wearing diapers or not.

Retchworthy as the Diaper Spa may be, I suppose we should thank Dr. Murphy and her people for providing a valuable life lesson, even if they didn’t mean to.

This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.