Donald Trump is as tiny a man as his hands would suggest, and nowhere is that more evident than in the handshake politics that have become a point of minor fascination with the media.

When he's not feeling too intimidated by a powerful woman to offer a handshake, Trump tries to establish his “alpha” status by sneak-attacking world leaders and others with the rotator cuff-punishing tug that has become his embarrassing trademark.

This clumsy hallmark of overcompensating pinky-dicks everywhere (the only people who unironically use the term “alpha male”) has, unfortunately for Trump, been decoded by world leaders. French President Emanuel Macron recently bested Trump, only to have the Yanker-in-Chief strike again during a rematch.

At an Oval Office meeting Monday morning, President Juan Carlos Varela of Panama was ready for the Trump yank and held firm twice. Like a boss, President Varela made Trump lean in for the grip, denying him the needed leverage as Trump wracked his brain for things to say about Panama that didn't involve Trump Tower Panama:

“We have many things to discuss. We're going to spend quite a bit of time today. The Panama Canal is doing quite well, I think we did a good job building it. Right? Very good job.”

I suppose we should be thankful he didn't praise Varela for their rousing Van Halen national anthem.

Trump also conspicuously ignored reporters' questions at the end of the pool spray and has not scheduled the customary joint press conference with President Varela, while his press office has forbidden any audio or video of its daily briefing.

Looks like other peoples' hands isn't all Trump has lost his grip on.

Please note: This is a commentary piece. The views and opinions expressed within it are those of the author only and do not necessarily reflect the editorial opinion of IJR.

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