One of the most puzzling quandaries of modern American life is the ranking of Trump administration figures in the Lying Hall of Fame.
Sean Spicer's out-of-the-gate tour de force performance evokes the bombast and glam-rock spectacle of Spiders-era David Bowie, Kellyanne Conway displays the inventiveness and funk of a marriage between Jimi Hendrix and Bootsy Collins, while Sarah Huckabee Sanders is more of a pure virtuoso in the mold of a Yo-Yo Ma or a Sergei Rachmaninoff.
It's an Olympian struggle that may never end, but on Thursday morning, Spicer may have gained the upper hand for the time being.
You might recall that Spicer's very first official act as White House press secretary was to scream knowing lies at reporters, a fact that he recently reminded the world of during a comedy bit dedicated to his knowing lie. That's what makes this lie, from his “Good Morning America” interview, so amazing:
That's a mind-blowing trick, knowingly lying about whether you have ever knowingly lied after describing the comedy bit in which you admitted to knowingly lying. And this performance is only sweetened by the deployment of several other evasions first, like weirdly changing the subject to whether he ever cheated on his taxes. By the way, someone should definitely check his taxes now.
But Spicer wasn't done yet. While the crowd may have been chanting “Play Freebird!” Spicer encored with flat-out lies about the same knowing lie, saying he should have had “more facts” and been “more articulate”:
Actually, no, Sean, you just needed actual facts as opposed to “alternative” ones.
Spicer went on to stonewall about whether he has been contacted or subpoenaed by special counsel Robert Mueller's Trump/Russia investigation. See, lying about that could actually get Spicer in trouble.
Watch the full interview below, via ABC News.