After living life as a transgender woman, named Brianna, for almost a decade, Brian Wagoner shared his story after deciding to transition back into a biological male.
Wagoner told the New York Post that coming out of his transition “was like leaving the Twilight Zone, but the rest of society is still in it.”
According to Transcare, “a Gender Affirming Health Program,” estrogen injections can cause side effects such as mood swings, weight gain, hot flashes, anxiety, or migraines. Wagoner was put on estrogen treatment for years by doctors.
“It was basically like medical professionals cheering on a girl with bulimia for puking up her lunch when her ribs are already poking out. There’s a lot of money to be made by doctors here. They see the dollar signs, and in the end, money talks,” he said.
Growing up in California, Wagoner was like the average boy.
“When I was a kid, I liked Legos and trucks,” he said. “I never wanted to wear my sister’s clothes. I never wanted to play with Barbies.”
Wagoner also knew he was gay, which was not accepted in his household. He was “so paranoid” of his father, a Vietnam veteran, finding out, whom he described as “a very alpha male, super-macho kind of guy.”
He also shared that he was “bullied ruthlessly” from elementary school until high school because he was ” a small scrawny little boy,” as he said during a Soft White Underbelly interview.
This led Wagoner on a downward spiral where he got involved in drugs in universtiy. He was using marijuana, ecstasy, Adderall and cocaine regularly, which he got from his friends and dealers at his school.
This caused him to experience withdrawals and he even contemplated taking his own life, the Post reports.
Around this same time, he also developed an addiction to pornography which led him to transgender content.
“Before I discovered this bizarre subgenera of pornography, the idea of being a woman never crossed my mind. Never. It just came out of nowhere, really,” he said.
According to Prestige Men’s Medical Center, the porn industry is estimated to bring in an additional $100 billion every year.
The effects of watching pornography lead to the brain beginning to change its perceptions of what it considers normal and acceptable, leading to a distorted concept of reality.
After looking on YouTube for information on Transgenderism, Wagoner then discovered a clinical social worker in Los Angeles who made videos for transgender people.
Wagoner said that after opening up to the therapist about his drug use, fetish, and trauma she told him that transitioning was life or death, he said during the Soft White Underbelly interview.
“I just thought maybe I had some sort of weird fetish, but I went to go see this therapist, and she told me I’m really a woman trapped in a man’s body and all my other problems were really because I was transgender,” he said of his first session with her, per the Post.
After a few therapy sessions together, the therapist then gave Wagoner a referral to see a doctor. This doctor ended up writing a prescription for estrogen and gave it to him on his first visit.
“This therapist knew I was addicted to drugs. She knew I had severe depression. But we didn’t go over any of that. It was just about hormones,” he said.
Psalm 51:17 says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
Wagoner then started making modifications to his body and legally changed his name to Brianna.
“The idea that I’d be a heterosexual woman and not a gay man was just really appealing to me. I was so sick of being Brian the ‘f-g.’ I just liked the idea of being literally anyone else,” he said.
After some self-reflection, Wagoner had enough and decided to transition back to a man and also went back to his biological name.
He now suffers the effects of taking estrogen, such as painful urination and an inflamed pelvic area. He is also being monitored for osteoporosis, which is a well-known side effect of taking hormone therapy, according to the Post.
Wagoner hopes that his story will be a warning to others who are thinking of transitioning.
“The reason I decided to speak out is because here in California, there really are no barriers to transition. I just don’t want to see people have the same bad experience that I had. I hope someone will hear this story and really think about what they’re doing and get therapy,” he said.
Wagoner is considering taking legal action against the therapist and doctor who encouraged his transition.
