President Joe Biden likes to carry cash around to slip to small children so they can buy ice cream — which is totally not creepy or weird at all.
This is all part of Biden’s “mission to connect” in the days leading up to the midterms, according to a glowing report by The Associated Press’ White House correspondent, Zeke Miller, who chronicled a mission that is carried out “one hug and one selfie at a time” on the part of the campaigner.
“If President Joe Biden could greet every American this way, longtime allies say, his approval ratings would soar,” Miller writes.
You see, as Biden “has never been at his best in big speeches, where his delivery can be stilted, his stories sometimes meandering,” Miller continues, giving what we might say is an incredibly generous description of Biden’s public speaking, it’s “the end of his speech that often marks the beginning of Biden’s favorite part of an event — the rope line, in the parlance of political operatives.”
“He whirls around, scans the crowd and zeroes in on his first target for a one-on-one connection,” he writes.
One of these “targets” might include, for example, “a small child,” in fact.
“Biden likes to carry some cash so he can discretely slip kids a few dollars and encourage them to buy ice cream,” Miller notes, almost as an aside, before going on to give several other fluffy examples of the glad-handing the president has “perfected through decades” of deploying the campaign tactic.
Apparently, he’s also “perfected the selfie arm.”
But if you’re like me, you’re probably still stuck on the whole giving-little-kids-money-to-buy-ice-cream thing, which is, at best, a bizarre look for a dude long nicknamed “Creepy Uncle Joe” and the subject of many an unflattering YouTube montage of same caressing women and young children to their oftentimes apparent awkward horror.
Yet this was part of the puffed-up image a former Biden “body man” sought to convey for Miller’s totally-not-partisan report on the apparent virtues of the president’s fondness for schmoozing with people who voluntarily go to campaign events to see him speak, as though with a crumbling economy, threats of nuclear war, and a crime-ridden, insecure border, this might actually be of interest to the voting public.
“I’ve seen him comfort people who were in tears talking about their personal hardships, console somebody who’s recently been diagnosed with cancer, honor a veteran servicemember with a handshake and one of his challenge coins,” former personal aide Stephen Goepfert told the AP, “and also give a young person money for ice cream just for sitting through the speech — and all in the same rope line.”
President Biden indeed has a weird fondness for ice cream, children, and giving ice cream to children.
He’s fond of stopping to visit ice cream shops on the campaign trail or when he should otherwise be president-ing, he’s always petting and making awkward comments to children during these “rope lines” and other photo ops, and he said during a speech last year that he described as “boring, boring, boring” (yes, his own speech) that any children in attendance were owed ice cream.
Imagine if Biden drew the press to the border like he does with ice cream parlor photo ops.
Staged and creepy—and not necessarily in that order. No one wants to watch this old man eat ice cream and troll kids. pic.twitter.com/UQgrgACQKq
— Tosca Austen (@ToscaAusten) October 17, 2022
A month earlier, Biden delayed a speech to make sure that two 5-year-olds in attendance got ice cream before he began.
Biden delays the beginning of his speech to make sure young girls in the audience get ice cream:
“Almost 5 years old coming to hear the president speak. My lord. In my faith we call that purgatory.” pic.twitter.com/k5bJth96qk
— The Recount (@therecount) June 1, 2021
While Miller’s report was clearly designed to present the image of an effective campaign tactic, a right-leaning British tabloid The Daily Mail noticed the ice-cream-children weirdness, as did a number of sharp-eyed social media users.
I’m sorry this is not normal: “It might be a small child — Biden likes to carry some cash so he can discretely slip kids a few dollars and encourage them to buy ice cream.” https://t.co/WsgkKhxND8
— Victoria Coates (@VictoriaCoates) October 24, 2022
This detail of Biden’s supposedly effective glad-handing — by discreetly greasing the palms of the children the public has come to expect him to otherwise sniff and fondle — lends itself poorly to any efforts to convey to the public that President Biden’s Democratic Party isn’t positively brimming over with people who seem intent on grooming young children.
Yeah, I went there — but you’ve got to admit, even if all the “groomer” rhetoric were utter hyperbole (it’s not), this is absolutely a terrible story to hit the press just weeks before the American people are set to hit the polls and show us all just how convincing the arguments that the Democrats are a bunch of groomers have been.
I mean, really, can you imagine if the mainstream media outlets were as wildly biased against Biden as they are for him, how much attention they’d give to the facts that he’s always groping kids and that his party wants to normalize public employees discussing sexuality with children and school officials keeping what children say about their own sexuality from parents?!
Let’s just hope the American people see this disturbing correlation on Nov. 8 to protect our nation’s children, because either way, Biden is apparently going to continue normalizing being totally weird to any young children that happen to cross his path for the next two years.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.