Florida authorities say a man is in custody after he went on a bizarre, multi-city crime spree — stealing Smokey Bear signs from state forests and flipping them for $1,900 each on Facebook Marketplace.
According to the New York Post, Smokey the Bear himself helped take him down.
Florida Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson broke the news Wednesday in a fiery post on social media: “What happens when dumb criminals poke the bear?” he wrote.
According to Simpson, the suspect traveled from Pensacola to Orlando, snatching Smokey signs along the way and selling them online for a hefty profit.
“Our Ag Law Team has a suspect in custody who traveled from Pensacola to Orlando stealing Smoky Bear signs from our state forests and selling them on Facebook Marketplace for $1,900 each,” Simpson said.
The man’s name hasn’t been released yet, but Simpson made it clear the suspect is behind bars, and charges are pending. “Smokey is always around our forest and just got lucky today that he saw the bad guy and got him handcuffed,” Simpson told Fox 13.
Yes — Smokey the Bear was reportedly on hand for the arrest, leading Simpson to declare: “Big thank you to Smokey the Bear for personally assisting in the arrest.”
And then came the part everyone was thinking: “What an idiot, what an idiot.”
Simpson didn’t hold back when asked why anyone would steal signs of one of America’s most iconic mascots. “[Smokey] goes to schools, he’s known by our children, he’s known by our families, he is known throughout the United States,” Simpson said. “Who goes and steals an image of Smokey the Bear and then tries to profit off of that?”
Florida has ramped up its wildfire prevention measures following a year that saw 24,000 acres destroyed by forest fires. The Agriculture Department responded with 277,000 acres of controlled burns, $93 million spent on equipment upgrades, and Smokey deployed across the state to remind residents: Only you can prevent wildfires.
Simpson had one final warning for would-be criminals: “If you’re going to go in and commit crimes in our forests, you probably need to find a different place,” he said. “Not only will you find smoke in some of those forests, but you’ll find our car officers.”
And don’t forget: “We’re the most pro-law enforcement state in the union,” he added. “Smokey Bear is on the job also.”
Looks like crime doesn’t pay — especially when you mess with the bear.
