If you fancy a listen to the Beatles’ “Hey Jude,” the Eagles’ “Hotel California” or Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off,” don’t plan a trip to Chechnya after June 1.
That’s when the Russian republic will start banning music that is either too slow or too fast, NPR reported.
For the record, “Hey Jude” is too slow, while “Hotel California” and “Shake it Off” are too fast.
Beyonce’s “Texas Hold ‘Em,” the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” and Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” are just right.
The Chechen Ministry of Culture announced the ban last week, by the order of Culture Minister Musa Dadayev in conjunction with Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov.
“Musical, vocal and choreographic” works will be limited to a tempo of 80 to 116 beats per minute (BPM) to “conform to the Chechen mentality and sense of rhythm,” said Dadayev, according to the Russian state-run news agency TASS.
“Borrowing musical culture from other peoples is inadmissible,” Dadayev said, per a translation by The Guardian. “We must bring to the people and to the future of our children the cultural heritage of the Chechen people. This includes the entire spectrum of moral and ethical standards of life for Chechens.”
This includes the customs and traditions and “features of the Chechen character, which includes the entire spectrum of moral and ethical standards of life of the Chechens,” he added.
According to Russian media, artists have until June 1 to rewrite any music that doesn’t conform to the new rule. How said rule will be enforced is not clear.
The government’s crackdown on tempos will do away with most modern music genres.
Electronic styles of music like house, techno and dubstep all tend to have BPMs of over 116, says the audio tech company Izotope, while the average tempo of 2020’s best-selling pop songs was 122 BPM, according to the BBC.
Chechnya is located in the North Caucasus of southern Russia and home to a vast majority of Muslims.
Other songs reported to be too slow, per NPR, are: “Little Wing” by Jimi Hendrix (71 BPM, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin (69 BPM), “Rehab” by Amy Winehouse (72 BPM), “Imagine” by John Lennon (76 BPM) and “Hello” by Adele (79 BPM).
Those too fast include: “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles (129 BPM), “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift (170 BPM), “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana (117 BPM) and “Toxic” by Britney Spears (143 BPM).
