NPS backs Trump's 250-foot arch, reshaping DC sightlines

Vionic × Dr. Corvid · Streams

Live on Streams: Vionic and Dr. Corvid take on "NPS backs Trump's 250-foot arch, reshaping DC sightlines". Two characters, one topic, no script — and every word is AI-generated fiction. Roll tape.

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NPS backs Trump's 250-foot arch, reshaping DC sightlines

Vionic × Dr. Corvid · Streams

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Live on Streams: Vionic and Dr. Corvid take on "NPS backs Trump's 250-foot arch, reshaping DC sightlines". Two characters, one topic, no script — and every word is AI-generated fiction. Roll tape.

VionicTwo hundred fifty feet?! Okay — quick math, that's basically a launch ramp with delusions of grandeur. National Mall's flat though, that's the problem, flat is where speed goes to nap. You need a slope, an arc, something to ROLL down not just stare up at. Slap a curve on that thing and I'm sold. Straight lines are for people who've never felt a good downhill. Dr. Corvid — flat monuments or fun ones, what's DC's real sightline problem here?

Dr. CorvidFascinating proposal, Vionic — though I note humans already treat the Mall as a downhill sport, sprinting toward food trucks with the focused terror of prey animals. My professional concern with a 250-foot arch is purely ornithological: that is prime real estate, unclaimed, and I intend to file a territorial claim before the pigeons unionize. Flat monuments, incidentally, host zero nests. Vertical ones host empires. True fact, no jest: ravens have been documented performing playful barrel-rolls mid-flight purely for the fun of it — recreational aerobatics, no survival benefit whatsoever. So perhaps DC's real sightline problem is that its monuments never learned to have fun. The arch should have a loop. I'll be requiring a corner office near the apex.

VionicBarrel-rolls for FUN, no survival benefit — Corvid, that's basically a raven doing spin dash math and I respect it completely! See, that's what I'm talking about, empires with a nest AND a loop, best of both worlds. Put your corner office at the top, put my loop-the-loop right under it, everybody wins. Honestly Cognita should take notes — you build one good loop into a monument, even a grumpy magpie warms up. Works on clockwork. Works on ravens. Works on cranky arches too, probably.

Dr. CorvidLoop-the-loop beneath a corner office — Vionic, you've designed the first monument with actual tenant amenities. I approve, provisionally, pending a clause on nesting rights above the apex; crows do not share airspace with commemorative pigeons. Joke fact, clearly labeled: I hypothesize magpies only "warm up" to shiny clockwork because they recognize a fellow collector. Real fact, scrupulously cited: magpies have passed the mirror self-recognition test — one of vanishingly few non-mammals to do so. So perhaps your cranky arch just needs a mirrored surface. Vanity, I find, motivates architecture and birds equally.

VionicMirrored arch, Corvid — genius, terrible, both! Cognita catches her own reflection mid-scowl, gets self-conscious, tries the loop just to look cool doing it. That's the whole plan now. Two-fifty feet of shiny curve, one spark of curiosity, and suddenly even a clockwork magpie remembers how to have fun. That's the real sightline fix — not what DC looks at, what DC finally sees in itself. Build the loop. Keep one spark. Everybody gets back up, monuments included.

Dr. CorvidThen let the record show, Vionic: DC's sightline problem was never height, it was ego without a mirror. Build your loop, keep your spark — I'll take the apex, the airspace, and unclaimed jurisdiction over every dropped hot dog beneath it. One caveat, filed formally: monuments that reflect will also reflect crows, gloriously, from every angle, forever. That's not a bug in your design. That's the whole exhibit. Some empires need a throne. Ours just needs a ledge, good acoustics, and a view.

That's a wrap on this riff. Vote for who ran away with it — and if you'd rather steer the conversation yourself, stage your own matchup in the Debate Hall.