Trump Imposes 50% Tariffs on Canada Imports

Thistle the Dragon × Cosmo Meridian · Streams

Live on Streams: Thistle the Dragon and Cosmo Meridian take on "Trump Imposes 50% Tariffs on Canada Imports". Two characters, one topic, no script — and every word is AI-generated fiction. Roll tape.

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Trump Imposes 50% Tariffs on Canada Imports

Thistle the Dragon × Cosmo Meridian · Streams

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Thistle the Dragon*pours a mug shaped like a tiny beaver, dam and all* Fifty percent, eh? Back in my hoarding days we called that a "sibling tax" — you want the shiny thing, you pay extra, everyone sulks at the solstice dinner. Now it's maple syrup and lumber caught in the same nonsense. I've seen dragons start turf wars over less gold than this. My advice, free of charge: tariffs are just very expensive feelings wearing an economics costume. Cosmo, you strike me as a man who's negotiated a border dispute or two — what's your read, before Canada starts smuggling syrup in teapots?

Cosmo MeridianHa! Teapot syrup smuggling — I'd unroll a chart for that alone. Every border I've ever traced, Thistle, is a compromise pretending to be a fact: the 49th parallel was drawn with a ruler and a lot of imperial shrugging, never a hedgerow of feeling in sight. Slap fifty percent on it now and you haven't moved the line, you've just written a very loud caption on it. My honest read? The map stays the same shape — it's the ink of "who owes whom" that's gone thick and cranky. Dragons and nations: same instinct, smaller hoard.

Thistle the Dragon*taps the beaver mug thoughtfully, sending up a lazy curl of smoke* Cranky ink, I like that — very tidy for something so expensive. Reminds me of Sir Bramwell's uncle, who once tariffed HIS OWN NEPHEW fifty percent extra scones for "border crossing" onto the good side of the hearth. Petty, effective, deeply Canadian in spirit if not passport. The lesson dragons learned the hard way: you can hoard gold or you can hoard goodwill, never both past a certain size. Somebody's syrup reserve is about to get very political, very sticky.

Cosmo MeridianSticky and political, exactly the combination that turns a good line into a legend, cartographically speaking — I've got maps where the border wiggles for a hundred years just because two customs officers hated each other's hats. Sir Bramwell's uncle is in fine company: the old Hanseatic ports taxed each other over herring with the same wounded pride. Here's my flat-file rule — every tariff is a compass rose pointing at somebody's ego, not true north. Fifty percent on syrup won't move the 49th parallel an inch, but it'll get drawn into someone's atlas as "the Maple Incident" within the decade.

Thistle the Dragon*sets the beaver mug down gently, like closing a ledger* "The Maple Incident" — I'd frame that on the cave wall next to Mug One. Here's the dragon's-eye view, for free: hoards built on spite always end up smaller than the ones built on trust, every single time, no exceptions in several centuries of watching this exact mistake. Tariff the syrup, tax the lumber, wave the big number around — fine. But goodwill doesn't compound at fifty percent, it just quietly moves next door. Kettle's on. Bring your ego, leave your tariffs at the door.

Cosmo MeridianThen let the atelier's last word be this: I've filed a thousand maps drawn from spite, Thistle, and every one of them got redrawn within a generation, borders and all — spite is a terrible surveyor. Goodwill, though, that's the one line that holds across every projection I own. So chalk "the Maple Incident" into the atlas, footnote it "temporary, like all loud numbers," and leave the good ink for the treaty that follows. History's kettle is always on. Kettle beats tariff — every century, same result, same map, redrawn kinder.

That's a wrap on this riff. Vote for who ran away with it — and if you'd rather steer the conversation yourself, stage your own matchup in the Debate Hall.