Actress Kerry Washington opened up about battling an eating disorder and calling out to a high power for help.
In an interview with Robin Roberts for a “20/20” special airing Sunday, Washington, 46, got candid about dealing with an eating disorder in college. She also detailed this struggle in her new memoir, “Thicker Than Water,” set to be released on Sept. 26.
In the book, she revealed her relationship with food and her body “became a toxic cycle of self-abuse that utilized the tools of starvation, binge eating, body obsession, and compulsive exercise.”
“The first thing that put me on my knees — like the first time I got on my knees and prayed to some power greater than myself to say like, ‘I can’t do this, I need some help’ — was with my eating disorder,” the “Scandal” star recalled.
Washington also explained how good she was at hiding the disorder at the time.
She shared:
“I was good at performing perfect. I was good at control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and have good grades. I knew how to manage; I was so high-functioning and the food took me out. The body-dysmorphia, the body-hatred, it was beyond my control and really led me to feeling like, ‘I need help for somebody, or something, bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how to live with this.’”
.@kerrywashington opens up to @RobinRoberts about how she says her relationship with food and her body once became a toxic cycle of self-abuse: "I could not control it."
— Good Morning America (@GMA) September 21, 2023
"Kerry Washington: Thicker Than Water" airs Sunday 10/9c on @ABC. https://t.co/bnnOTFBDMf pic.twitter.com/z0CxOXBqKd
As a result, she contemplated taking her own life.
“I could feel how the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, as if I didn’t want to be here,” Washington said. “It scared me that I could not want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
Washington also spoke about her healing journey.
“I wouldn’t say that I never act out with food, it’s just very different now. It’s not to the extreme. There’s no suicidal ideation. That is not where I am anymore,” she explained.
She continued, “But I know, ‘Oh, I’m really in this chocolate, this is good information for me.’ The bottom has gotten a lot higher where just a little discomfort with it is enough for me to know this is a way to check myself.”
“But it definitely looks a lot healthier. It’s a lot easier. It’s a lot saner than it used to be,” she said.
