Personal life
While working at Vogue, Barbara met and married Stanley Grafton Mortimer Jr. (1913–1999), an oil heir and member of a prominent New York family, in 1940 at St. Luke's Episcopal Church in East Hampton, New York. However, their marriage ended by 1946 after Mortimer, upon returning from his service in the Navy during the WWII, became an alcoholic and displayed severe mood swings. Mortimer would decades later be diagnosed with manic depression.
They had two children together:
Stanley Grafton Mortimer III (born 1942), a Harvard graduate who married Siri Larsen in 1971.
Amanda Jay Mortimer (born 1944), who married Carter Burden Jr., a descendant of the Vanderbilt family, in 1964. The couple divorced in 1972.
Paley's children grew up at the countryside estate Kiluna Farm in Manhasset,while their mother and father/step-father stayed in New York. Retrospectives have suggested that Barbara neglected her children while pursuing social status and relied on her husbands' wealth to support her extravagant lifestyle. Her daughter Amanda has acknowledged that their relationship was "virtually nonexistent" and that the distance "was her choice, not mine".
Through her daughter Amanda, her granddaughter is Flobelle 'Belle' Fairbanks Burden, a lawyer and New York Times Bestseller for her autobiographical book Strangers which describes her childhood summers at Barbara's home.
After her divorce from Mortimer, Barbara received a settlement from a trust fund. In 1946, she met William "Pasha" Paley, who was estranged from his wife Dorothy Hart Hearst (1908–1998), the former wife of John Randolph Hearst. William Paley, the chief executive of Columbia Broadcast System or CBS, was wealthy, influential, and interested in the arts, and sought acceptance in New York's café society. Barbara's social connections provided him a better chance of gaining entry into the exclusive circles that had previously eluded him. For Barbara, William Paley offered wealth, security, and worldly experiences. William's divorce was finalized July 24, 1947. He and Barbara married the following year. She had two children with Paley:
William C. "Bill" Paley (born 1948), who relaunched La Palina, a cigar company established by grandfather Sam Paley in 1896. He married Alison Van Metre, daughter of Albert Van Metre, founder of Van Metre Homes.
Kate Cushing Paley (born 1950), who made her "nondebut" in 1968, shortly after the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy.
According to several biographers, Barbara experienced loneliness and frustration as William Paley engaged in extramarital affairs. This emotional toll affected her and her family. Moreover, she faced public and media scrutiny, expected to maintain an unrealistic standard of beauty and social grace.
