Nesbitt family
Robert "Rab" C. Nesbitt
Gregor Fisher (1988–2014). An alcoholic without denial, sarcastic, deadbeat, self-styled "street philosopher" and "sensitive big bastard", although "sensitive by Govan standards". Described by his wife Mary as not "an unemployed person" but "the original unemployed person", Rab is very rarely seen in anything other than a shabby pinstripe suit, plimsolls, a filthy headband and a string vest. He has two sons, Gash and Burney. Rab has four brothers, all dead; Rab only survived because he was the only one out of the five who was able to understand the benefits form. He claims to have been talented as a teenager, but never went anywhere with it due to Govan-dwellers being scared of talent when they saw it and tried "tae batter it tae death wi' empty wine bottles". At some point before the episode "Clean" he managed to clean up his act, giving up alcohol, helping around the house, finding religion, and presiding over a temperance group; so far he has only relapsed on-screen twice. He is also shown to break the fourth wall.
Mary "Mary Doll" Nesbitt (née Regan)
Elaine C. Smith (1988–2014). Rab's long-suffering wife, more functional and aspirational than her husband. Claims that on the day she was born it was a toss-up whether she or the dog's litter would end up at the bottom of the river Clyde in a sack (Burney: "She won. There's nae bloody justice, eh?"). Currently runs a successful house-cleaning business with Ella Cotter called the "House Mice". Mary has repeatedly split up with Rab over the course of the show and has often flirted with other townsfolk to try to get back at him. However, somehow, she and Rab always seem to get back together, usually for the sake of the "weans" ("little ones"). Mary has had a lot of odd-jobs over the years, often taken as a quickie to pay off a final demand bill or outstanding arrears. Mary has stuck by Rab through many tough situations over the years.
Gash Nesbitt
Andrew Fairlie until 2008, Iain Robertson 2010–2011 (1988–2011). The Nesbitts' elder son. Described by his father as "so anal-retentive he's still shitein' rusks." Has dabbled with Christianity, hard drugs, Hare Krishna, Scottish nationalism, and ram-raiding BT shops in his efforts to find himself. He has an on-off girlfriend, Bridie, and by the time of the show's return, now has a teenage daughter, Peaches, whom the Nesbitts dote upon. Rab has often taken more interest in Gash than his other son, Burney, and seems to favour Gash as he doesn't give as much lip. Fairlie left the role following the 2008 special, and Robertson was re-cast in the role and appeared from 2010.
Burney Nesbitt
Eric Cullen (1988–1993). The Nesbitts' younger son, who briefly dabbled with neo-Nazism. Was also discovered to be gifted at painting, although gave up this avenue when he realised it wasn't getting him any sex. Burney often gave his father more grief than his brother, and often became more of a nuisance in his father's eyes. Actor Eric Cullen left the programme following series three due to personal issues, and was replaced by David McKay's Screech. Cullen died in 1996, shortly after he was asked to return to the role of Burney for the 1997 series. In the 2008 Christmas special, it is revealed that Burney died in a "ramming" accident and was buried nearby.
Screech Nesbitt
David McKay (1994–1997). Rab's nephew, who replaces Eric Cullen's Burney from 1994. Screech comes to live with the Nesbitts after Burney goes to live in at a boarding school. Screech is much more outspoken that his predecessor, and has much more of a rebellious side. He seems to get along with Gash better than Burney did. Actor David McKay earlier portrayed Young Young McGurn's son Bimbo in "That's Entertainment", and was cast in the role of Screech following his initial appearance in 1992. McKay left the role in 1997.
