Note to Florida Man: If youâre going to rob Florida Woman, make sure sheâs not a powerlifter first.
I know, itâs a bit difficult to tell to tell who can deadlift 200 pounds before you grab their purse. Maybe thereâs, like, some kind of app that criminals can use to measure bicep circumference and estimated body fat from a distance before they grab a ladyâs purse. Of course, itâs more difficult if youâre grabbing it from a victimâs car, as one punk allegedly did, but at least the app could be useful in other cases.
If he ends up being found guilty, then perhaps Luis Machado can work on the app in jail â provided, of course, the prison lets him code on the computers there. Because, if what he did what heâs alleged to have done â and suffered the consequences â he certainly could have used it himself.
According to a report from WTVJ-TV in Miami on Monday, Machado, 41, went viral in a bad way after he was reportedly hunted down by a woman whose bag heâd stolen.
Sheâd canvassed the area around the Crime, then confronted him on a sidewalk after getting into an accident with another car. He found out she didnât play around â and a black eye in his mug shot indicates just how badly he lost the tussle.
Video of the March 29 incident was uploaded Monday to an Instagram account titled âOnly in Dade.â
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The woman who said Machado stole her bag, 26-year-old waitress Miurell Vargas, said she was at work in the Wynwood section of Miami when she was informed about the break-in.
âMy window was broken, and my wallet wasnât there, and neither was my purse,â she told WSVN-TV.
According to WFOR-TV, she then began driving around the area to see if she could see someone carrying her purse.
âIt wasnât because of the cash value,â she said, according to WSVN. âMy momâs picture was in my wallet, and my mom passed away eight years ago, so that was of sentimental value for me that I needed to recover.â
When she spotted a man on the street with her purse, she said, she was âso focused on himâ that she didnât see the other vehicle she collided with.
Machado was seen in his mug shot with a black eye and Vargas was seen on the Video punching him â although she said she didnât know if he got it from her as she tried to separate him from her belongings.
âI didnât see him,â Vargas said. âI didnât see him after that.â
âHe was yelling it wasnât my bag and that I was crazy,â she added.
âThat made me even more mad because he knew it was my bag. He put his hand behind him so I thought he was gonna pull out a knife or a gun and thatâs when I started punching him.â
Now, itâs worth noting that even if you are a powerlifter â and Vargas is, according to WTVJ â itâs not necessarily worth it to go on a car hunt and get in a fight with someone because heâs stolen your bag. Vargas, it was noted, got a ticket for the crash, and admitted she âhad so much adrenaline in me that I didnât think about the consequences.â
âI just want to say âsorryâ to the person that I crashed into,â Vargas said. âShe gave me a hug. She was very nice. I just want to say âsorryâ to her.â
Both vehicles were considered destroyed in the crash, according to WFOR.
Meanwhile, Machado â who, quelle surprise, has a long history of charges including Burglary, fraud and drug possession â is charged with Burglary, criminal mischief, and petty Theft in this case.
According to WTVJ, police say he smashed the window and took the stolen items; he admits to having them but disputes how they came into his possession.
âHe admitted to having some of the victimâs property but then he claims he didnât know how the property became in his possession, which obviously were conflicting statements that didnât make sense,â said Kiara Delva, a Miami police spokeswoman.
Will a jury buy that? Weâll find out if he decides to stick to that line. One thingâs for sure, though: If they donât, this Florida Man will have plenty of time to develop that app.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.