The āBriefing Roomā section of the White Houseās website is invaluable material for anyone who follows our 46th president, be it closely or casually.
Not because there are any words of wisdom to be found in there, mind you. Itās mostly statements from and transcripts of top administration officials and mouthpieces: President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris and White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. And if youāre searching that corner of the web for some sagacity, itāll take a while.
Rather, it provides the official (if perhaps not correct) answers to Americaās favorite new game show: āWhat the Heck is Uncle Joe Saying?ā
Now, granted, Joe Biden has been making gaffes for quite some time now. (Here at The Western Journal, weāve been chronicling them since the beginning of his campaign ā and noted that his downward mental spiral made him unfit to be president. Weāll keep on bringing America that truth, and you can help us by subscribing.)
Lately, however, those gaffes have becoming a bit less coherent. Weāve moved far beyond ālying, dog-faced pony soldierā (still my personal favorite, BTW) and into a frightening terra nova where the putative leader of the free world oft sounds like Bob Dylan coming to after anesthesia.
For instance, take Mondayās edition of āWhat the Heck is Uncle Joe Saying?ā
Hereās the setup: Biden andĀ Harris were in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building receiving a briefing on the James Webb Space Telescope, the successor to the Hubble Space Telescope. If the name doesnāt ring a bell, perhaps youāve seen the pictures:
As the presentation was wrapping up, NASA administrator Bill Nelson noted the import of the telescope ā and the international effort that went into producing it.
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āThereās another thing that youāre going to find with this telescope: It is going to be so precise, youāre going to see whether or not planets, because of the chemical composition that we can determine with this telescope of their atmosphere, if those planets are habitable,ā he said.
āAnd when you look at something as big as this is, we are going to be able to answer questions that we donāt even know what the questions are yet. This is whatās happening, and itās because of this wonderful team thatās out here, part of that team led by Thomas Zurbuchen. It was in trouble financially five years ago. He took it over. He got Greg Robinson, that youāre going to meet, to direct it. And the result is what youāve seen.
āSo, what an incredible team ā joined, by the way, with our international partners, the European Space Agency and the Canadian Space Agency,ā he continued. āSo this is an international endeavor.ā
The video is below. Now, quick ā can you guess what the heck Uncle Joe is saying?
https://youtu.be/Z13QK1shc7A?t=3966
The best one of the guys on our assignment team could do was āI wonder what the presslikenouzolthelplaces?ā His managing editor couldnāt even venture a guess. Neither could that editorās wife, for that matter.
I donāt mean to brag, but I won the office pool on this one ā at least according to the Briefing Room transcript.
Hereās what the president is supposed to have said: āItās amazing. I wonder what the press is like in those other places.ā Itās not as satisfying as nailing a tough Final Jeopardy, but Iāll take it.
This word salad still only kind of sort of makes sense. What is the press like in those other places? Probably the same as it is in the U.S.: That amazing picture from the telescope, followed by a lot of technical details no one really understands but sound pretty cool.
Is Biden under the impression the Canadians have never heard of the concept of a space telescope and that the CBC is going to be running 24-hour coverage of this just-unveiled miracle thingamabob?
I suppose you could argue Bidenās quote makes sense in context because this is right before reporters were ushered out of the room ā but this wonāt take its place in the pantheon of great lines in the history of the American space program, thatās for sure.
āI believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth.ā (President John F. Kennedy, May 25, 1961)
āOne small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.ā (Apollo 11 Mission Commander Neil Armstrong, July 20, 1969)
āItās amazing. I wonder what the press is like in those other places.ā (Joe Biden, Monday.)
One of these things is not like the other, as the āSesame Streetā crowd is fond of saying.
Of course, thereās no guarantee this is what Biden actually said or meant to say. The White House transcripts of our current president are an inexact science, often filled with crossed-out words and curious elisions.
For instance, imagine being the official scorers for this episode of āWhat the Heck is Uncle Joe Saying?ā from back in April:
The transcript on that occasion: āIn addition to this supplemental funding, Iām also sending to Congress a comprehensive package of ā that will enhance our underlying effort to accommodate the Russian oligarchs and make sure we take their ā take their ill-begotten gains,ā it read.
āHa, weāre going to āaccommodateā them,ā the transcript continues. āWeāre going to seize their yachts, their luxury homes, and other ill-begotten gains of Putinās kleptoc- ā yeah ā kleptocracy and klep- ā the guys who are the kleptocracies. (Laughs.)ā
This is all very funny until it gets serious ā and the fact these clips pop up so often this is practically a daily game show should worry every one of us. Joe Biden has already pledged to run for president in 2024. Iād personally like to hear him say the year ā2024ā three times fast before committing to the run, but whatever.
Perhaps Mondayās bit of mush-mouthedness wasnāt the most indecipherable of them all ā even if I was the only one at TWJ who could understand it ā but it was still more slurring and inscrutability for a man who can afford little of either when heās two years away from trying to convince American voters to co-sign his leadership for another four years.
He has zero margin left for moments like these. Thereās only so much of this game show we can take.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.
