Parenting Experts Want You To Use Words Like ‘Vulva’ And ‘Anus’ With Your Infant

Parenting experts say moms and dads should start using words like “vulva,” “penis” and “anus” with their babies as part of a push to teach consent and body awareness from infancy.

Researchers from Deakin University in Australia published a report this month urging parents to treat diaper changes as early lessons in bodily autonomy and consent. They advise mothers and fathers to begin each change by explaining what’s about to happen and pausing to allow the baby to “take it in,” even if the child is months away from uttering a word.

“At the start of a nappy change, ensure your child knows what is happening,” the report states. “Get down to their level and say, ‘You need a nappy change’ and then pause so they can take this in.”

From there, the researchers recommend offering options — such as walking to the changing table or being carried — and watching for cues in facial expressions and body language. The idea, the report says, is to normalize conversations about touch, consent and anatomy from the very start of a child’s life.

They go even further, suggesting parents ask questions like “Can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out?” and avoid distracting the child with toys or songs. To the experts, diaper changes shouldn’t be rushed or treated like a chore. They should function as a foundational lesson in consent.

“This can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work,” the authors wrote.

The philosophy comes straight from the world of “gentle parenting,” the popular but polarizing approach embraced by many younger millennials and Gen Z parents. The Deakin researchers insist their method protects children by teaching them the names of their private parts and signaling that their bodies belong to them.