Harry Potter Isn't Book-Accurate Anymore

Grab a cold one, ya pelicans. Today we’re sitting down to rip into the brand-new HBO Harry Potter trailer shot-by-shot. First they promised us an adaptation strictly "faithful" to the sacred texts—now the suits are doing the corporate downgrade ladder and calling it "Novels Plus". Plus what? Plus whatever fan-fiction they cooked up on a lunch break? We break down the good, the bad, and the genuinely cooked: from book-accurate eagle crests and proper Herbology lessons to John Lithgow sounding like an angry American high school football coach, Nick Frost’s Hagrid, blind bathroom trolls, and Lily and James apparently burning down bridges on date night. Is this actually going to honor the books, or are we staring down another corporate trainwreck like Google Plus? Drop a comment below with your thoughts—is "Novels Plus" code for total disaster, or are you actually keen? BECOME A MEMBER to hear the completely uncensored, filthy versions of every breakdown.