“Total victory.”

“Hey, dummies, all sponsorship deals are about money. OK?”

“Maybe it’d be epic.”

“It’s time for conservatives to stand up and refuse to back down.”

“I feel like I just blacked out.”

“I subject myself to a lot more trauma.”

“Maybelline needs Jesus Christ ASAP like this isn’t normal at all.”

“Most of all this trip has me feeling like my own best friend again.”

“I hope there’s nobody from Budweiser here … or the FBI.”

“The privacy and safety of our employees and our partners is always our top priority.”